Types of Drunk People

Holi is the only Indian festival which allows you to get piss drunk (socially). Many a times I’ve seen people swaying to the beat of some unheard music, or just simply staring into the void. Their monkey-red faces displaying a mix of emotions, while their drooping eyes show the effect of the enjoyment. Of course people get drunk all the time, and it’s only natural that they go overboard at times.

Why does it matter?

So, up until last year I thought that the word ‘teetotaler’ meant someone who drinks a lot, which is completely opposite to what it ACTUALLY means!(please don’t judge me, I don’t know everything) This is the reason why drunk people fascinate me so much, because I knew almost nothing about them. But not anymore!

And like most of the new things in my life, this experience started in Mumbai. In Bhopal, I’ve only seen ‘rowdy drunk people’; low income labourers who drink away their problems. But in Mumbai, even the most elite indulge in this elixir. I never knew I could feel terrified and amused at the same time, but guess who gave me those emotions? Drunk people! So let me elaborate, leggo!

  • The Sombre Saint:

 

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This person, is the most talkative when sober. But when he/she gets drunk, this guy/girl is the deadest person around (apart from real dead people, but why would you drink with a dead person? Sick!). He/she will get serious and bring the room’s vibe so low, you can’t even limbo that ish!

  • The Chabi wala Bandar
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This person’s high is short-lived, but when it’s there, nobody can stop him/her. They’re like childhood toys, that creepy monkey which had a key in his back and it went on clapping till the key unwound. The next state after this is of the Sombre saint, when the batteries go out.

  • The Guru
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After a few drinks, this person turns into the wisest person in existence. You can ask them anything and it will seem as if an ancient sage himself has appeared.

  • The ‘I’m Not That Drunk’
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This person might not even be able to stand properly or finish a whole sentence without slurring their words, but they’ll still say they aren’t that drunk. Trust me, they are. Don’t leave such people alone for their own safety. Especially stop them from calling their exes!

  • The “What’s that?!”
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Have you ever been around a curious child? No? Then you definitely need to be around this person! You will be asked everything from who you are to what that big white thing in the sky is. Be prepared!

Is that all? Well maybe, maybe not; maybe I need your help. So people, comment on this post with any more types of drunk people that you know! I’d love to hear all about it!

Until next time!

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